The Key to an SAHM's Sanity

Of all the jobs in the world, they say a stay-at-home-mom's (SAHM) job is the toughest one. We are expected to run the household and multi-task. Nothing can prepare us for this job. We learn to go with the flow (not exactly smooth ones) and are expected to wear many hats at home. We help ourselves solve specific tasks, as much as possible. Those without external help would know what I mean. It's not so much of physical tiredness. It's just.... emotionally draining.

The many sleepless nights with my bubs at this stage, as I was nursing both of them concurrently.

Having been a SAHM for the last 13 years, there are possibly many things that I could have done to better manage my well-being, IF I had known better. Opportunities to manage the burnout feeling I felt at the end of the day was too insignificant to remember that I am being appreciated at home. I was an angry, grouchy and emotional mom in the earlier years. My identity was lost until my children went to school. Only then I could find a little bit more time to myself to pursue my interests.

Selfies did exist in the year 2004! :p

So listen up, all you new SAHMs out there, especially with the younger bubs who are not yet in school. This is really really important to have.

Looking back, I think it would have been perfectly alright to ask for some time off, to remember there is a 'me'. Moms are the reason for the existence of our children and I don't see why SAHMs should not take regular healthy time-offs to recharge and be energized. Wouldn't it be nice to go home feeling ready to face new challenges and embrace our family with a more loving and positive mind?

So whether you can squeeze in some time off to have a meal alone (without having to eat leftovers), get a hair wash at your neighborhood salon, bake a cake - anything that will make you feel on top of the world. Do it. You will appreciate yourself more. Your family would too.

Here's a recent photo of us enjoying each others' company! When they are older, things get much easier despite teenage angst. That's another story for another day. :)

  Till the next post, have a blessed week!

Next up on the blog train!

Pauline, a mother-of-two, a home cook, a baker and a crafter. She has been a SAHM for almost 7 years now and she’s still enjoying every minute of being one. Days with the children, to her, are never dull and having a hobby or something interesting to be kept busy with makes life so much more easier. Beyond her interest in cooking, baking and sewing, blogging keeps her sane as she shares with many like-minded moms about her struggles, moments of pride and everything in between, so visit her blog tomorrow to find out more!

This post is part of a blog train hosted by Gingerbreadmum where 31 stay-at-home mums share their survival tips. We hope that you'll find our tips useful and remember that you're not alone!

I'm Happy! And I'm a Singaporean!

Have you seen the recent controversial video about Steph Micayle? (or Stephanie Koh, if you must know her real name) If you've not seen the video, I recommend you spend about 15 minutes of your time to hear what this young lady has to say about her not being proud to be a Singaporean. Perhaps then you'll see why this blog post came to be. But, it's also okay if you do not wish to add to her numbers.

I shall not debate about why I am proud or not proud to be a Singaporean. But I would like to reason a few points close to my heart that were brought up in the video, which did not go down so well with me.

No country is perfect in their system. There will always be people finding fault with theirs because it doesn't serve their specific needs.  But let's give the government more credit than they deserve. It is not reasonable to fault how a country should run if you are not qualified to run it. Though I am not inclined to agree on every rule and regulation in my country, I am also certainly not one who will rebel.

As a mature adult, I understand that a system is in place to hold Singapore together and for it's people to have a common bond. Simple reasoning. Since we are born and bred here, we should learn to live with it and deal with it. It's the same wherever you may relocate to. You have to abide the law.

 

In every country, in every race, in every organization and sometimes even within the family, there are some black sheeps. A few black sheeps do not represent the majority of people.

 In every society, there are also different type of personalities, upbringing and values. Maybe some choose to be narrow minded because it's a challenge not to be one. Maybe some don't want to be nice because they happen to have a bad day. Maybe some gave up trying to be creative because they lost their patience. Maybe some are submissive to maintain harmony and some are just unhappy because they are finding fault with everything but themselves! There are also the MAJORITY of us who are not like that. It's unfair to say that most Singaporeans are not nice. I know plenty of nice Singaporeans!

I've always liked to give the benefit of the doubt so I feel, kindness do exist in everyone. In Singapore, I observe that we generally impart random acts of kindness to strangers when it is being called for and I am quite confident that many adult Singaporeans will step in to help one another in need. Kindness is evidently growing. Spread the kindness like it's second nature instead of killing it with self-righteousness and point fingers at others expecting them to be the same. That is arrogance and certainly, not very nice. (Sorry but I had to add this : having someone run after you from afar to ask if the computer you dropped is okay, is an act of a nosey-parker. #justsaying)

In other words, let's stop nitpicking about how "bad our system is" or "how strict the law is". Singapore is already on the right track, listening to people on the ground. Give Singapore more time. It may not be much for everyone but it will impact those that matter. There is no "one size fits all" policy. Our country is doing our best so we should lend a hand. If we can't lend a hand, hush up. Let's respect her, enjoy the simple pleasures of life and peace she has to offer that many often take for granted.

 Do you have something to say about being a Singaporean? Do you beg to differ my thoughts? Come and share your thoughts with me and link up if you are a blogger or leave a comment in this post. I would love to know what Singapore means to you and your family. I also welcome thoughts about Singapore if you are an expatriate living here or have visited Singapore. Copy and paste the code below at the end of your blog post and link up!  

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 Till the next post, have a blessed week!

Behind The Scene of My TV Debut - On The Red Dot

I was recently contacted via email by one of Channel NewsAsia's producer, Sian Choo, who was doing research on a story about "Sharenting" for a local programme called "On The Red Dot". She requested for a phone interview with me, hoping that I could help fill her in with information about why I blog. I obliged. 

Perhaps why I started blogging intrigued her because the reason was clearly the peer influence. Yes! The mums in Singapore Mom Bloggers are surely an influential lot! From someone who has lost touch with writing in a diary for more than 20 years, the thought of journalling my moments for all to see seemed daunting. However, I'm very happy where my blogging adventure has taken me for the past 19 months. 

A few days after the phone interview, Sian Choo called me up again. This time, it became clearer. She wanted me to be interviewed on TV!  I declined to do the TV interview a couple of times, asking her if she can somehow incorporate my story into the program without me appearing on TV. But, her sincerity won me over. I thought, since it was not something I would do as a norm and for the experience sake, why not?

Sian Choo and the filming crew, fussing over me as they were setting up the lighting and sound.

The particular story Sian Choo was covering focused on parents who blog, tweet and post pictures of their lives. Particularly with children. She wanted to know why we blog and what was it that we want to share with the world. 

So, being the kind of person who likes to plan and not really liking any surprises (ok lah, kiasi), I asked her for a list of questions she would be asking me about. So I diligently typed out my answers and printed it on paper for my reference, just in case I had to because I didn't want to be stumped. Here were her questions and my answers.

How did your blog first started, and  why?  

Actually I started a photoblog in March last year and was searching for a like-minded group in Facebook to share with when I chanced upon this newly set up facebook group for Singapore Mom Bloggers. I was very surprised to discover many mom bloggers journaling their children’s milestones, sharing their challenges and snippets of their lives.  A month down the road, I got influenced, in a good way.  So I decided to start a blog, thus my blog name - The Accidental Mom Blogger.

What do you usually like to blog about, and why?

I usually blog about matters close to my heart. The challenges I face as a stay-at-home-mom, the building of relationships with my children and sharing memories of my own growing up years. Sometimes I also have a say on trending issues in Singapore like education or on social graces. Other times, I share my simple home cooked recipes or journal about my jewelry crafting. Blogging has become an outlet for me to express my feelings and at the end of the day, it’s all about sharing my experience. Perhaps another mom who is reading a particular post can relate with me, pick up a tip or two and know they are not alone in their challenges.

  

Do your children know about your blog?

Oh yes they do. If it’s a post that concerns them, I would make them read it to see my point of view. Hopefully they will understand why I do what I do. If not now, then in the future when they are facing with parenting challenges. My blog would serve as a reference for them.

Hmmm, this is probably one of the rare times when my dining table is cleared of my work barang barang!

How are their response & reactions so far?

Initially, it was not something they were comfortable about but they kind of warmed up (or I would like to think they do) to my blogging adventure so we’re all quite okay now. There is definitely a trust that's been built on what I will share and what I will not.

And KayCee the dog becomes an overnight star, with tricks she earnestly performed for the camera!

 What are some of the things you will definitely not post?

I will certainly not post sensitive issues that would hurt my family, extended families and friends. 

How do you draw the line between what’s private & public?  

I am mindful not to divulge any intimate and embarrassing details of myself or anyone in the family – unless it’s meant to be tongue-in-cheek. So topics like revealing specific exam scores or about my children reaching puberty are a no-no for me. If I have to write a post similar to these topics, I would generalize the content.

Are you aware of digital footprints? Do you think your children will be affected by your blog sharing?

As long as I maintain a positive attitude when I blog about the challenges with my children, I believe it will not affect their lives. I am aware that what I share online is searchable, but what I share is also real to me. It is a part and parcel of growing up in Singapore and I believe many Singaporean parents can relate. What I write about my children now is not reflective of how they will contribute to society in the future. So I do not think it poses a problem. 

There. Sounded simple? It wasn't. And you know what? It didn't really matter what I typed out in the list of questions given to me. I was stumped anyway! I think typing out my thoughts are much easier than when I speak it out.

 Although I was the least bit nervous (very unlike me though I fidgeted over my unrefined looking hair and wondered all the time if Rosli, the cameraman, was filming a flattering side of my face or focusing on my tummy), it was the repeated necessary interruption (the N.G.s to be precise) due to background noise from trucks on the road, made the thinking process difficult.  For each time I had to repeat what I had said before the N.G., my answers came out very differently! 

Alas, after watching the programme, none of the essential questions were aired anyway... ah well...

In case you missed the programme, here is the link to the show. I am very happy to be sharing this segment together with my fellow mom blogger friend, Jiahui from www.mumseword.com, who was also interviewed for this segment. And thanks to her for putting up this direct video link on the 'sharenting' portion for my readers to enjoy!

 

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If you are also a parent blogger like me, I invite you to share your thoughts on sharenting and link me up!

Why do you blog? What is it you want to share with the public? And what is it you wish to achieve?

(You may use the above questions posed to me as a guide for your post.)

Copy and paste this badge at the end of your post!

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  Till the next post, have a blessed week!

What's In Your Bag?

Some men don't understand why some women carry big bags. We lug our large totes around like as though good enough for a day trip! Some women carry A LOT of stuff inside while others seem to carry a big bag to make a fashion statement with very little content in the bag. I am guilty of carrying more than one bag sometimes and keep a shopping bag within a bag. *And the men don't exactly get it.

 

 So what's in my bag, you ask? These are what I have!

Brown makeup pouch
which looks a tad old-lady looking. Ok need to upgrade my pouch. Only thing I like about it is its waterproof.

Dome voucher envelope
with the discount card still inside and 1 expired voucher. Almost 10 months old.

A box of Ricola sweets
Make that melted sweets. ewww.

Foldable starry shopping bag
Love it to bits.

Wet Wipes by Watsons
This one is a must have. Cos I can be OCD like that to my kids. :p

A shawl
in case I get too cold in a mall or if the hubs decide to catch a movie. It can keep 2 persons warm.

A bagful of beads
my friend's 8 year old daughter passed to me to help her repair her bracelet! Yikes! I totally forgot.

ONE cute panda leftover ang pow from CNY 2013 
with moolah inside! Wow, I'm $18 richer!

My green card wallet 
where every other discount cards are placed.

My brown wallet from Esprit
I'm still loving it!

A runaway 10 cent coin 
I found it deep in the corner of my bag. It finally saw the light of day.

My phone.
Not something I can leave home without!

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How about you? What's it like in your bag? Are you the walking provision shop, the fashionista or a minimalist? Do you have things that should not be in your bag? Do you organize your items in your bag well? What are the must haves to bring out? Po chai pills? Sng buay? or *cough* hong yiu?

Take this opportunity to clean your bag up, discard them trash and take part in my linky party! Uncensored version is very much welcome.

  Please copy and paste the html in your post to link back if  you are taking part!

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    Till the next post, have a blessed week!